Author Archives: hesty

To Have But Not to Hold? Waiting Until the Wedding Night

Once upon a time there was the idea that nice young ladies waited until their wedding nights to be intimate with their husbands. Never mind that plenty of those brides were already “in a family way” by the time they got to the altar, that was what everyone subscribed to publicly. Times have certainly changed, but in recent years there has been a backlash against society’s more casual attitude towards sex, and that has included a renewed interest in making the wedding night special by waiting for it – even among couples who have been living together for years. Read more about the trend of a maintaining a period of abstinence before the wedding night as well as the trend about couples saving everything for their first night as husband and wife.

A few years ago, I read about the “revirginization” trend in the Sunday New York Times. The general concept is that a few weeks or even a few months before their wedding, engaged couples stop having intimate relations so that their wedding night will be like the first time. It’s a bit like closing the barn door after the horse is out, but nonetheless the trend has caught on among some groups. It allows couples, even those who already share a home, to feel more traditional for their weddings.

Weddings, after all, are a time when even the most modern woman tends to feel more sentimental. This is why even as trends come and go in the fashion world, classics like lace and pearl bridal jewelry remain in style for brides year after year. Some brides will even wear the same wedding gown or pearl bridal jewelry as their mothers did, so perhaps it should not be so surprising that they are hoping to make their wedding nights as special as they imagine they were for brides a generation or two ago.

In addition to couples who decide to abstain from intimacy in the weeks leading up to their wedding, there are now couples who genuinely save themselves for marriage, in every possible way. Certainly this is nothing new, but it has been brought into the public eye by shows like “19 Kids and Counting”, which chronicles the lives of the very large and very religious Duggar family, proponents of the ultra-conservative Quiverfull movement. When their eldest son Josh was married last year, one of the central features of the wedding was that he and his bride-to-be Anna saved their first kiss for the end of their wedding ceremony. While not too many passionate young couples are likely to limit their affection to chaste hugs for their entire courtship, anytime an idea is featured on a television show, it gains some currency in the culture at large. The “Virgin Lips” movement, as it is sometimes called, has more adherents than one might think.

In the end, the decision to wait a little, wait a lot, or become a temporary born-again virgin for two weeks to make the honeymoon more thrilling are highly personal decisions which every couple must make for themselves. Brides and grooms-to-be should do their best to follow their hearts rather than trends, whether permissive or restrictive. When a couple can decide together on the best path for their intimate relationship, it will surely help them to start out their marriage on the right foot, whatever they decide.

Yacht Charter Weddings and Honeymoons Virgin Islands-Style

A wedding celebration should be magical. Imagine combining it with the unforgettable experience of an island yacht charter. There is probably nothing more romantic than a couple starting their lives together with a Virgin Islands-style wedding and/or honeymoon!

Imagine repeating vows while standing barefoot on a white sandy beach with turquoise blue water as your backdrop. Or, perhaps you might prefer a lush mountain top with panoramic views and gentle trade winds. Maybe more adventure is your style. How about standing on the bow of a magnificent sailing vessel or chartering a luxurious yacht decked out in tropical flowers as you exchange your vows? You can get married at sunrise, sunset, or under a balmy tropical night, sky-filled with more stars than you have ever seen. An underwater ceremony can even be incorporated into a colorful coral reef dive. Caribbean weddings are big business.

Wedding planners and yacht/sailing charterers are happy to make any arrangements. The happy couple needs to remember, however, that they cannot just show up on their favorite island and expect to be married.

Each island has its own requirements, but the local tourism office will provide the necessary details. For U.S. citizens, a British or U.S. Virgin Island wedding is the easiest to arrange.In the BVI, couples apply for a marriage license at the attorney general’s office in the Administration Building in Road Town, Tortola. You must have your passport with you so the entry date can be established since the ceremony cannot be performed until you have been in the Territory for a minimum of 3 days. An original or certified copy of a divorce decree or death certificate must be presented if either couple was previously married. Both the application and actual ceremony requires two witnesses. A couple can be married at the Registrar’s Office above the Main Street Post Office for $35.00. If the ceremony is elsewhere (on the beach or on a sail/yacht charter, the fee is $100.00.

Picking out the ceremony location is probably the hardest thing about having a BVI wedding. Tortola is the main island in the BVI, with many beautiful beaches to have a wedding, including: Cane Garden Bay, Lambert Beach, Long Bay Beach, Josiah’s Bay and the Beach at Nanny Cay.

Just to the north of Tortola is the island of Jost Van Dyke. White Bay, with its crystal blue water and white sandy beach is a perfect location to drop anchor from your sail or yacht charter, swim to the beach and exchange vows. The wonder and beauty of the Baths on Virgin Gorda’s southeast shore will be most memorable. For more information contact Gail Hartman at ViSailing.

In the USVI, the Territorial Court in St. Thomas must receive the marriage application form and any certified divorce decrees or death certificates of previous spouses at least 8 days prior to the ceremony. No physical exam or blood test is required, but you will need to present yourselves with picture identification to the Clerk of the Court prior to the big day to obtain your license. Again, a local wedding planner can help you with the details. There are many choices for selecting the perfect wedding location in the USVI. On St. Thomas, the romance of a tropical beach wedding can be yours at lovely Magen’s Bay – selected by National Geographic magazine as one of the 10 most beautiful beaches in the world.

The Sapphire Beach villas have panoramic views of St. John and Jost Van Dyke. Just picture a terrace-side celebration around the infinity pool with that backdrop as you exchange vows. On St. John, two thirds of the island is National Park. The natural beauty of the Island Mountains combined with the exquisite white sandy beaches, creates a perfect place for a paradise wedding.

Check out Caneel Bay and Leinster Bay. For an island experience with more Dutch character, do not miss St. Croix with its white sands of Pineapple Beach or the secluded alcove of Sugar Beach. Want more intimacy? Consider heading out to sea for a wedding adventure aboard a private sail or yacht charter. A Virgin Island style wedding is a great romantic way to start your marriage, and, it is an even better place to honeymoon!

As one Custom’s agent recently stated, “Our moon is full of honey, mon.” Throughout the Virgin Islands, with its unhurried lifestyle and friendly people, there are many resorts and villas to make the perfect romantic holiday. Whether you choose a beachside cottage or a luxurious suite, the new couple can enjoy spectacular seascape views while snuggling in a cozy hammock for two. If you need more intimacy and privacy, how about sleeping aboard a sailing vessel or luxury yacht?

The knowledgeable staff at Virgin Island Sailing will be more than happy to arrange your crewed or bareboat sailing vacation or yacht charter.

Besides smooth-sailing island hopping, there are a variety of activities to explore the full range of romantic honeymoon possibilities.

Whether you are new to the sport or an experienced old hand, there are endless places to dive or snorkel in the Virgin Islands, including exciting wrecks, walls and reefs.

Golfing, island style, is a round you will always remember. Tees and greens with breathtaking ocean views and fairways like tropical gardens, make golf in the Virgin Islands a golfer’s paradise. How about horseback riding through the surf or on a lush mountain trail, or even windsurfing in the Sir Frances Drake Channel?

Honeymooners can walk hand in hand on the fabulous beaches, sip rum drinks while watching the most spectacular sunsets, or star gaze into the clear tropical night sky. With the constant gentle breeze, the swaying palms, the soft white sand, and the warm turquoise waves lapping at your feet, the romance of a Virgin Island Wedding and/or honeymoon is truly unforgettable.

Whether you remain land-based or arrange for a yacht or sail charter, you will truly be beginning your lives together in paradise! Contact ViSailing for your yacht charter and let your ideal fairy tale moment come true.